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Monday, September 29, 2008
On our way to the hospital
There you have it people.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
Less than 6 hours to go
Needless to say that I am up and anxious. We just got finished bowling on the wii and I kicked her butt as usual. Don't look at me like that... she told me not to take it easy on her!!!
Thanks to the meditation, going to church Saturday, and the love and support of family and friends I am actually not toooo bad right now. She seems fine too. I think it's just being loved and knowing that you have so many people there for you makes it a little easier. I meant to ask her to post tonight so we could see how she's really feeling but it was late and I know that she probably wanted some time to herself.
I was laughing the other day as I watched a show and they said the typical "it doesn't take a brain surgeon..." It's funny that brain surgery is part of just everyday conversation as comparisons. "Of course you could do that, it's not brain surgery". Well it is brain surgery and it's not that funny if you think about it. Makes me rethink the many things that I may say in jest that just are more serious than we make it out to be.
Seriously, that's probably why we've been able to minimize this whole thing. You watch movies and see blood, gore and destruction and it's funny or sometimes a little scary. You watch shows like House, ER, Gray's Anatomy and Scrubs and you think, wow, look at that, that's awesome. But you don't realize that half or even 95% or even all of it is based on at least one person's personal story. It doesn't dawn on you that someone somewhere went through this. And the music is dramatic. And the doctors are caring and feeling or cold and callous. But you don't realize or get to know what really happens in the minds of the patients, the families, the surgeons. The real people that without us these shows would have no audience. No show.
I'm not saying this so people will pity us and our situation. But so that the next time you watch a movie and they just yank out someone's intestines, or the next time you tell your kid "it's not brain surgery it's just algebra" that you'll think about the people that actually have to go through these things.
It's like, did you ever buy a car or a phone or even a pair of sneakers, and the next thing you know is you see that phone everywhere you turn. Weird analogy, I know. It's because I'm such a tech freak. But you understand what I mean, right? Ever since we found out about Mommy's tumor and Ms. Venuis' breast cancer (Troy's Mom) that's all we hear about. I mean, I know breast cancer awareness month is here... but sheesh. Is it that now we are more aware of these things because they are hitting close to home? Have we opened our eyes to the world around us, not just thinking that we are the world?
I know I am rambling. My mind is way to hyper too settle down and I know that as soon as I fall asleep it'll be time to take Mommy to the hospital.
And I want to prolong that as long as I can.
5 1/2 hours to go.
I love you, Mommy!
Thanks to the meditation, going to church Saturday, and the love and support of family and friends I am actually not toooo bad right now. She seems fine too. I think it's just being loved and knowing that you have so many people there for you makes it a little easier. I meant to ask her to post tonight so we could see how she's really feeling but it was late and I know that she probably wanted some time to herself.
I was laughing the other day as I watched a show and they said the typical "it doesn't take a brain surgeon..." It's funny that brain surgery is part of just everyday conversation as comparisons. "Of course you could do that, it's not brain surgery". Well it is brain surgery and it's not that funny if you think about it. Makes me rethink the many things that I may say in jest that just are more serious than we make it out to be.
Seriously, that's probably why we've been able to minimize this whole thing. You watch movies and see blood, gore and destruction and it's funny or sometimes a little scary. You watch shows like House, ER, Gray's Anatomy and Scrubs and you think, wow, look at that, that's awesome. But you don't realize that half or even 95% or even all of it is based on at least one person's personal story. It doesn't dawn on you that someone somewhere went through this. And the music is dramatic. And the doctors are caring and feeling or cold and callous. But you don't realize or get to know what really happens in the minds of the patients, the families, the surgeons. The real people that without us these shows would have no audience. No show.
I'm not saying this so people will pity us and our situation. But so that the next time you watch a movie and they just yank out someone's intestines, or the next time you tell your kid "it's not brain surgery it's just algebra" that you'll think about the people that actually have to go through these things.
It's like, did you ever buy a car or a phone or even a pair of sneakers, and the next thing you know is you see that phone everywhere you turn. Weird analogy, I know. It's because I'm such a tech freak. But you understand what I mean, right? Ever since we found out about Mommy's tumor and Ms. Venuis' breast cancer (Troy's Mom) that's all we hear about. I mean, I know breast cancer awareness month is here... but sheesh. Is it that now we are more aware of these things because they are hitting close to home? Have we opened our eyes to the world around us, not just thinking that we are the world?
I know I am rambling. My mind is way to hyper too settle down and I know that as soon as I fall asleep it'll be time to take Mommy to the hospital.
And I want to prolong that as long as I can.
5 1/2 hours to go.
I love you, Mommy!
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Tomorrow
She's going in tomorrow @ 6am.
On a side note, T-Mobile is having internet and email issues.... so there might be a delay in me being able to post updates. I hope they have it resolved by tomorrow. Please call me if you want to know how it's going if I'm not updating. I'll have her phone also.
Thanks again for all the love and support we've gotten!!!
On a side note, T-Mobile is having internet and email issues.... so there might be a delay in me being able to post updates. I hope they have it resolved by tomorrow. Please call me if you want to know how it's going if I'm not updating. I'll have her phone also.
Thanks again for all the love and support we've gotten!!!
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Friday, September 26, 2008
An apple a day?
My mom was just telling Deja to eat an apple a day to keep the doctor away.
It's such a farce. My mom eats apples almost everyday and she still got a tumor. And the fact that she is still perpetuating that myth is just ironic.
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Mommy and Daisy
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From: "Jen and Troy" <jen2troy@gmail.com>
Date: Fri, 26 Sep 2008 14:44:22 -0400
To: <jenny19119@tmo.blackberry.net>
Subject: pics
Thanks
I just wanted to offer my thanks for everyone that has reached out to us and gave personal experiences, offered help, offered prayers and support, offered meals...
It's all much appreciated!!
It means a lot to us.
I will be posting as much as I can next week because I'd like to have up to date and accurate accounts of what is/has happened.
If you'd like to email the us the contact info is checkonbrenda@gmail.com
It's all much appreciated!!
It means a lot to us.
I will be posting as much as I can next week because I'd like to have up to date and accurate accounts of what is/has happened.
If you'd like to email the us the contact info is checkonbrenda@gmail.com
3 more days
We have started meditating. To clear our minds, to relax, to bring good energy, to be more peaceful. It's working!
Let me start by saying, we have a few close friends that we know will be there for us through anything, and when we need them the most, we now know who those people are. Then there are those that claim to be your bff, cousin, sister, whatever, that when you ask them for simple favors (and I mean minute on the scale of favors) they disappear. So we were all holding some negative energy from that. It's not healthy. I guess we try to be there for people whether they have a paper cut or major surgery and to not get that back hurts.
But sometimes it's the person you went to high school with that you spoke to but were never in their "clique" that offers kind words and personal experiences. Sometimes it's the person you see everyday and have small chit chat with that offers assistance. You never know who will be there for you and who won't. But at the end of the day.. you know that you have your family.
All of that aside, meditation helps a lot. We've only done it twice (we'll I've done it twice, Troy and Daisy once and I'm not sure how many times Mommy has done it). Yesterday I was feeling really down, very weepy, and last night we meditated. I filled my mind with positive thoughts and energy and let out as much bad as I could. Afterwards, I felt a serious release. I actually felt a little, dare I say it, happy! I am going to make sure that we do it again tonight because it really feels like it is working and if Mommy feels as good as I did after, then she needs to do it.
So if you need to release some stress, negative thoughts or anger.... do this:
Find a quiet place
Think about what you want to get rid of, visualize it
Breathe a deep breath and inhale pure white (it's hard to do the first few times). This is positive energy that you are allowing to enter your body.
Feel it going throughout your entire body from your head to your toes
Expel air slowly
Picture it as black and dark and dirty as you possibly can. This is the negative energy that you are letting go.
Repeat those steps a few times. You can even substitute another color after you do the white the first time.
Disclaimer: I am not a doctor nor am I a spiritual counselor. You can find several different ways to meditate online, this is just the way that I have found works for me. If you pray, you can pray in addition to this as meditating is not a religious act (per se). Nor will you offend your God by breathing in different colors (I don't think).
Let me start by saying, we have a few close friends that we know will be there for us through anything, and when we need them the most, we now know who those people are. Then there are those that claim to be your bff, cousin, sister, whatever, that when you ask them for simple favors (and I mean minute on the scale of favors) they disappear. So we were all holding some negative energy from that. It's not healthy. I guess we try to be there for people whether they have a paper cut or major surgery and to not get that back hurts.
But sometimes it's the person you went to high school with that you spoke to but were never in their "clique" that offers kind words and personal experiences. Sometimes it's the person you see everyday and have small chit chat with that offers assistance. You never know who will be there for you and who won't. But at the end of the day.. you know that you have your family.
All of that aside, meditation helps a lot. We've only done it twice (we'll I've done it twice, Troy and Daisy once and I'm not sure how many times Mommy has done it). Yesterday I was feeling really down, very weepy, and last night we meditated. I filled my mind with positive thoughts and energy and let out as much bad as I could. Afterwards, I felt a serious release. I actually felt a little, dare I say it, happy! I am going to make sure that we do it again tonight because it really feels like it is working and if Mommy feels as good as I did after, then she needs to do it.
So if you need to release some stress, negative thoughts or anger.... do this:
Find a quiet place
Think about what you want to get rid of, visualize it
Breathe a deep breath and inhale pure white (it's hard to do the first few times). This is positive energy that you are allowing to enter your body.
Feel it going throughout your entire body from your head to your toes
Expel air slowly
Picture it as black and dark and dirty as you possibly can. This is the negative energy that you are letting go.
Repeat those steps a few times. You can even substitute another color after you do the white the first time.
Disclaimer: I am not a doctor nor am I a spiritual counselor. You can find several different ways to meditate online, this is just the way that I have found works for me. If you pray, you can pray in addition to this as meditating is not a religious act (per se). Nor will you offend your God by breathing in different colors (I don't think).
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
sorrow
One of Mommy's oldest friends son passed away yesterday, after battling cancer for almost 5 years.
Please keep their family in your thoughts.
Please keep their family in your thoughts.
Monday, September 22, 2008
the veil is lifted
I've decided to change a few of the posts in order for us to have full disclosier. I want people to understand that we are real people going through something real. I want you to know us, to see us.
Brenda Stratton is my mother. She is the one that will be going through the surgery next week. She's in Pre-Admission testing at this very moment. Without me. I wanted to be there desperately, as I have been there through this whole process (with the exception of the vision field exam).
sidebar: A patient of mine JUST came in and told me he has prostate cancer... enough with the cancer already!
Anyway, I try to be with her through everything so that she knows she the support and love that she needs to get through this. I feel it makes for a better recovery if she knows she has something to fight for! Not that there's going to be a need to fight... this is going to be easy peasy, dammit.
So if any of you want to come and visit her next week, please just let me know. I will probably post her room number here, but if I don't feel comfortable I won't.
Brenda Stratton is my mother. She is the one that will be going through the surgery next week. She's in Pre-Admission testing at this very moment. Without me. I wanted to be there desperately, as I have been there through this whole process (with the exception of the vision field exam).
sidebar: A patient of mine JUST came in and told me he has prostate cancer... enough with the cancer already!
Anyway, I try to be with her through everything so that she knows she the support and love that she needs to get through this. I feel it makes for a better recovery if she knows she has something to fight for! Not that there's going to be a need to fight... this is going to be easy peasy, dammit.
So if any of you want to come and visit her next week, please just let me know. I will probably post her room number here, but if I don't feel comfortable I won't.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
pjs part deux
I just got her 2 sets of pajamas. They look comfy cozy!
Also checking to make sure I can post from the BlackBerry to post at the hospital!
It works!!!
Also checking to make sure I can post from the BlackBerry to post at the hospital!
It works!!!
Monday, September 15, 2008
happy little accidents
Does anyone remember that awesome PBS painter Bob Ross? "The Joy of Painting". I do!!!
I went to google my blog to see if I could find it yet, and there he was. I guess he was in my subconscious too. Dealing with these scary, traumatizing things must have made me tap into my safe place.
He was always so calm and patient and whenever he made a mistake he called it a "happy little accident".
I just wanted to acknowledge that I now know where I got the title to my blog and to give credit where credit is due.
I went to google my blog to see if I could find it yet, and there he was. I guess he was in my subconscious too. Dealing with these scary, traumatizing things must have made me tap into my safe place.
He was always so calm and patient and whenever he made a mistake he called it a "happy little accident".
I just wanted to acknowledge that I now know where I got the title to my blog and to give credit where credit is due.
Well it just goes to show you, it's always something
Roseanne Roseannadanna said it right. It's always something.
Thursday, after a particularly grueling day at work for both Troy and I, before we go to Deja's back to school night, I find out Troy's mom needs a mastectomy.
She'd just had a lumpectomy for breast cancer a few weeks ago. They were supposed to do the mastectomy then, but the "good cells were fighting the bad cells" so they just did the lumpectomy and removed the 3 lymph nodes that were cancerous. She was only supposed to have radiation too.
Now this. I know that it's pretty routine, but to have surgery already and they change the gameplan, just to re-run that first play...It's tough.
She found her lump by accident. Changing out of her clothes her hand brushed against it. And she found a lump, in her breast. As someone who isn't family, I couldn't really ask the questions that were bothering me. Did she get mammograms? Breast exams at home? Did she regularly see the doctor? Gynecologist?
Breast cancer awareness is probably the most familiar out of all the cancers, all the illnesses, and diseases. So was she proactive with her screenings? I wish I could ask her, but she's going through enough as it is. Troy won't ask. It's his Mom.. feels weird asking about her boobs.
She's either having her surgery the same day as my Mom or that Friday.
And we're all still smiling.
On the outside.
Thursday, after a particularly grueling day at work for both Troy and I, before we go to Deja's back to school night, I find out Troy's mom needs a mastectomy.
She'd just had a lumpectomy for breast cancer a few weeks ago. They were supposed to do the mastectomy then, but the "good cells were fighting the bad cells" so they just did the lumpectomy and removed the 3 lymph nodes that were cancerous. She was only supposed to have radiation too.
Now this. I know that it's pretty routine, but to have surgery already and they change the gameplan, just to re-run that first play...It's tough.
She found her lump by accident. Changing out of her clothes her hand brushed against it. And she found a lump, in her breast. As someone who isn't family, I couldn't really ask the questions that were bothering me. Did she get mammograms? Breast exams at home? Did she regularly see the doctor? Gynecologist?
Breast cancer awareness is probably the most familiar out of all the cancers, all the illnesses, and diseases. So was she proactive with her screenings? I wish I could ask her, but she's going through enough as it is. Troy won't ask. It's his Mom.. feels weird asking about her boobs.
She's either having her surgery the same day as my Mom or that Friday.
And we're all still smiling.
On the outside.
Pajamas
So, Mommy and I go shopping for something that we probably didn't need, I can't quite remember what it was.. this was yesterday by the way. We see pajama sets. Mommy says "Ooh, pajamas, I need some". Really? I have never known my mom to wear pjs... actually I vaguely remember her having satin ones in the early 80s, was that her or on Dynasty? Anyway, I ask her why she wants pajamas.
"For the hospital", is her reply.
"Um, are they doing the surgery at the Ritz Carlton? It's a hospital, not a fashion show. They give you a gown to wear. Where are you going anyway?"
"I don't want to look like a dork."
I laughed so hard and loud I thought they were going to have to escort me outta there.
This is what we've made this surgery into. A few nights at a resort. She seriously told me that I have to bring her food because she's not eating that hospital crap. [Editor's note: I scaled down how we really talk so people that don't know us well will still think we are angels] She has made requests for at least 2 meals that she has in mind, wants to go shopping for pjs and is even trying to find wigs and/or scarves to wear after the surgery.
It's my understanding that he will only be cutting a small section of hair, so why the wigs?
I don't know if how we are looking at this major operation is helpful or harmful. In one aspect it's easier to deal with this by downplaying it. Casually mentioning to acquaintances that ask how you are with a "eh, having brain surgery for a tumor in a couple weeks". Shrugging it off like it's having minor dental work or having a bunion removed. I guess that we do this because we don't know what it will be like, we hope it is like scraping a little bit of plaque off her brain and take 2 motrin and call us in the morning. We do this to cope. If we sat down and looked online at brain surgery (no hyperlink, I won't look) and what it entails, we might just not be able to deal. We hope this is minor. We pray that it's easy peasy and 3-4 days later and she'll be walking to the post office again. Smiling to neighbors and store clerks that she'd told about the tumor, and having them marvel at how she's been such a strong and stoic woman through this whole ordeal. How we always smiled and are still smiling. No pain, no complications.
We hope. We pray.
But, I will get her the pajamas she wants for her stay at Ritz Carlton Hospital, make her ready to audition for America's Next Top Patient. I will smuggle in her favorite foods, and we will just keep shrugging it off and smiling. Because that's what we do. Treat this brain tumor like it doesn't matter, like we barely know it's there. But we do.
2 weeks to go.
"For the hospital", is her reply.
"Um, are they doing the surgery at the Ritz Carlton? It's a hospital, not a fashion show. They give you a gown to wear. Where are you going anyway?"
"I don't want to look like a dork."
I laughed so hard and loud I thought they were going to have to escort me outta there.
This is what we've made this surgery into. A few nights at a resort. She seriously told me that I have to bring her food because she's not eating that hospital crap. [Editor's note: I scaled down how we really talk so people that don't know us well will still think we are angels] She has made requests for at least 2 meals that she has in mind, wants to go shopping for pjs and is even trying to find wigs and/or scarves to wear after the surgery.
It's my understanding that he will only be cutting a small section of hair, so why the wigs?
I don't know if how we are looking at this major operation is helpful or harmful. In one aspect it's easier to deal with this by downplaying it. Casually mentioning to acquaintances that ask how you are with a "eh, having brain surgery for a tumor in a couple weeks". Shrugging it off like it's having minor dental work or having a bunion removed. I guess that we do this because we don't know what it will be like, we hope it is like scraping a little bit of plaque off her brain and take 2 motrin and call us in the morning. We do this to cope. If we sat down and looked online at brain surgery (no hyperlink, I won't look) and what it entails, we might just not be able to deal. We hope this is minor. We pray that it's easy peasy and 3-4 days later and she'll be walking to the post office again. Smiling to neighbors and store clerks that she'd told about the tumor, and having them marvel at how she's been such a strong and stoic woman through this whole ordeal. How we always smiled and are still smiling. No pain, no complications.
We hope. We pray.
But, I will get her the pajamas she wants for her stay at Ritz Carlton Hospital, make her ready to audition for America's Next Top Patient. I will smuggle in her favorite foods, and we will just keep shrugging it off and smiling. Because that's what we do. Treat this brain tumor like it doesn't matter, like we barely know it's there. But we do.
2 weeks to go.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
MRIs, Doctors, and Tumors... oh my!
Mommy and I were having memory loss after the accident. Confusion, crying, pain.
Dr. B orders us to get brain MRIs. I have suffered with migraines for well over 10 years and have had an mri before. Mommy hadn't.
The 1st MRI was fine. In a lovely Radiology Center with an open mri, in a huge room with a great window and a cool mirror so you can see outside when you are getting your scan.
Mine was first, and mommy held my feet and rubbed them the whole time. Mommy's was next, I did the same for her. Everything was peaches and cream.
Until.
The next day Dr. B got the results while my mom was in the office. They found a mass in her head. Mine was fine. Could this be accurate? I have the migraines, she doesn't get headaches, well not that she told me. I see a copy of the report, words like aneurysm,chordoma , and metastatic lesion jump off the page.
Aneurysm? giant aneurysm? "Don't shout, don't scare her, don't upset her" What if it ruptures? Oh my god, what am I going to do????
2nd MRI:
Ugh, closed mri, in a trailer, with Retched Radiologist. Mommy is claustrophobic, and has a history of panic attacks. Great.
She saw the room, lay down for a second and got up. RR said that she wouldn't be able to have the MRI because of the way she was reacting. RR got ripped a new asshole and Mommy had a visitor in the MRI room. I stood there for 45 minutes with one hand stretched up to hold her hand, and the other rubbing her feet. The whole time she was in there I was checking to see if her chest was moving... to make sure she hadn't passed out in the tube! I knew how scared she was to have the MRI but I also knew how important it was to have it. That day. I couldn't wait 2 more weeks for her to go to a place that had an open MRI. I still feel bad about forcing her to stay there, but we needed to know. She understood, and that's why she was so brave to do it. I am so proud of her!
Fast forward to the next day.. next report.. suprasellar tumor, glioma ,metastatic disease
I call the Neurologist at AEMC , get an appointment Tuesday (we got the report on Friday). I googled him. Fabulous! Philadelphia's Top Doctor's list.
We meet with him, Troy comes with us. He's friendly, comforting, and most importantly doesn't seem worried. He schedules her for a CT Scan of the chest and abdomen, I had already scheduled her for a mammogram, ironically, and blood work.
Her test came out great. For a 58 year old woman it was amazing, even her primary care doctor said so. No cancer anywhere, which ruled out metastatic disease. Thank god!!
Next was an vision field test with a neuro-opthamologist as this tumor was on her optic chiasm . The series of nerves behind the eyes. The MRI report said that it appears to be attached to it. A grape sized tumor behind her eyes. Those beautiful, caring eyes.
Dr. M told her after the exam that it was affecting her vision a "tiny bit". Which at this point was as important as the other testing. When we heard that, it sounded good, like we could just check the tumor in 3 months and make sure her vision was still fine and call it a day... not so.
The report that Dr. M wrote recommended that she have surgery. Surgery. We knew it was possible, but from what he told her in the office it didn't seem that serious. He said it was probably a meningioma which is a benign tumor.
We saw Dr. Kotapka (the neurologist) again and he said it was up to Mommy. She could decide. She had already told me that she didn't want to have surgery, but I knew that it was important because Dr. K. said that he couldn't fix any vision loss but he could keep it from getting worse. My decision was made. Apparently so was mommy's. Before the elevator came to leave the office, she said that was going to have the surgery.
That was a week ago, or less. She is scheduled for September 29. 20 days from now.
And we wait.
Dr. B orders us to get brain MRIs. I have suffered with migraines for well over 10 years and have had an mri before. Mommy hadn't.
The 1st MRI was fine. In a lovely Radiology Center with an open mri, in a huge room with a great window and a cool mirror so you can see outside when you are getting your scan.
Mine was first, and mommy held my feet and rubbed them the whole time. Mommy's was next, I did the same for her. Everything was peaches and cream.
Until.
The next day Dr. B got the results while my mom was in the office. They found a mass in her head. Mine was fine. Could this be accurate? I have the migraines, she doesn't get headaches, well not that she told me. I see a copy of the report, words like aneurysm,chordoma , and metastatic lesion jump off the page.
Aneurysm? giant aneurysm? "Don't shout, don't scare her, don't upset her" What if it ruptures? Oh my god, what am I going to do????
2nd MRI:
Ugh, closed mri, in a trailer, with Retched Radiologist. Mommy is claustrophobic, and has a history of panic attacks. Great.
She saw the room, lay down for a second and got up. RR said that she wouldn't be able to have the MRI because of the way she was reacting. RR got ripped a new asshole and Mommy had a visitor in the MRI room. I stood there for 45 minutes with one hand stretched up to hold her hand, and the other rubbing her feet. The whole time she was in there I was checking to see if her chest was moving... to make sure she hadn't passed out in the tube! I knew how scared she was to have the MRI but I also knew how important it was to have it. That day. I couldn't wait 2 more weeks for her to go to a place that had an open MRI. I still feel bad about forcing her to stay there, but we needed to know. She understood, and that's why she was so brave to do it. I am so proud of her!
Fast forward to the next day.. next report.. suprasellar tumor, glioma ,metastatic disease
I call the Neurologist at AEMC , get an appointment Tuesday (we got the report on Friday). I googled him. Fabulous! Philadelphia's Top Doctor's list.
We meet with him, Troy comes with us. He's friendly, comforting, and most importantly doesn't seem worried. He schedules her for a CT Scan of the chest and abdomen, I had already scheduled her for a mammogram, ironically, and blood work.
Her test came out great. For a 58 year old woman it was amazing, even her primary care doctor said so. No cancer anywhere, which ruled out metastatic disease. Thank god!!
Next was an vision field test with a neuro-opthamologist as this tumor was on her optic chiasm . The series of nerves behind the eyes. The MRI report said that it appears to be attached to it. A grape sized tumor behind her eyes. Those beautiful, caring eyes.
Dr. M told her after the exam that it was affecting her vision a "tiny bit". Which at this point was as important as the other testing. When we heard that, it sounded good, like we could just check the tumor in 3 months and make sure her vision was still fine and call it a day... not so.
The report that Dr. M wrote recommended that she have surgery. Surgery. We knew it was possible, but from what he told her in the office it didn't seem that serious. He said it was probably a meningioma which is a benign tumor.
We saw Dr. Kotapka (the neurologist) again and he said it was up to Mommy. She could decide. She had already told me that she didn't want to have surgery, but I knew that it was important because Dr. K. said that he couldn't fix any vision loss but he could keep it from getting worse. My decision was made. Apparently so was mommy's. Before the elevator came to leave the office, she said that was going to have the surgery.
That was a week ago, or less. She is scheduled for September 29. 20 days from now.
And we wait.
The Accident
As I said before, there are no accidents. To prove this I have a story for you.
This July my mom and Troy picked me up from work because Mommy had to pick up chairs from someone in Devon. Craigslist strikes again! Clear sailing, not too far from my job, no traffic. Then the rainstorm. The rain was hitting the windshield so hard we couldn't see anything. We were in an unfamiliar area, it was rush hour, and we were in a rented car because the chairs wouldn't fit in Troy's car.
Daisy was home, she didn't want to go with us.
We kept driving because it was still fairly light despite the rain, and we picked up the chairs. Minutes after we drove away from his house, the rain stopped. Just as quickly as it started. We stopped to get lotteries, driving without rushing, no hurry. We'd called Daisy and she was fine, just watching tv.
We stopped at my mom's to drop of the chairs and Daisy decided she wanted to go with us to return the car. My mom went in the house to pee... she asked me if I had to and I said no. When she came out, I figured I should just go in because eventhough the car place was less than a mile from the house, there's no such thing as a short trip with us. So I went to inside. It was 7pm... I remember because the lottery came on... funny how you remember the little things. Anyway, we pile into the car, belt up, start driving.
2 blocks later, she hits us.
She ran the light. Slammed into Daisy's door, spun us into a pole. Someone screams. Me? Mommy? We'll never know. Daisy just keeps saying she loves us... are we dead? Dying? Why is she saying it over and over. I feel alive. Everyone is conscious.
We stumble out of the car and look at the damage, it's sickening. She comes to us to ask if we're ok. Uh, no, you just crashed into us. Troy freaks out, more angry than I ever thought possible. Mommy faints, holding her chest. Daisy is guarded by neighbors that ran out to help. Me, I don't remember. I know I held Mommy, kissed Daisy and tried to calm Troy.
Ambulance, hospital, pain, medicine, tears, scared, shaking, home, sleep?
This July my mom and Troy picked me up from work because Mommy had to pick up chairs from someone in Devon. Craigslist strikes again! Clear sailing, not too far from my job, no traffic. Then the rainstorm. The rain was hitting the windshield so hard we couldn't see anything. We were in an unfamiliar area, it was rush hour, and we were in a rented car because the chairs wouldn't fit in Troy's car.
Daisy was home, she didn't want to go with us.
We kept driving because it was still fairly light despite the rain, and we picked up the chairs. Minutes after we drove away from his house, the rain stopped. Just as quickly as it started. We stopped to get lotteries, driving without rushing, no hurry. We'd called Daisy and she was fine, just watching tv.
We stopped at my mom's to drop of the chairs and Daisy decided she wanted to go with us to return the car. My mom went in the house to pee... she asked me if I had to and I said no. When she came out, I figured I should just go in because eventhough the car place was less than a mile from the house, there's no such thing as a short trip with us. So I went to inside. It was 7pm... I remember because the lottery came on... funny how you remember the little things. Anyway, we pile into the car, belt up, start driving.
2 blocks later, she hits us.
She ran the light. Slammed into Daisy's door, spun us into a pole. Someone screams. Me? Mommy? We'll never know. Daisy just keeps saying she loves us... are we dead? Dying? Why is she saying it over and over. I feel alive. Everyone is conscious.
We stumble out of the car and look at the damage, it's sickening. She comes to us to ask if we're ok. Uh, no, you just crashed into us. Troy freaks out, more angry than I ever thought possible. Mommy faints, holding her chest. Daisy is guarded by neighbors that ran out to help. Me, I don't remember. I know I held Mommy, kissed Daisy and tried to calm Troy.
Ambulance, hospital, pain, medicine, tears, scared, shaking, home, sleep?
"everything happens for a reason"
This blog is about accidents. The cause and effects of certain things happening. Is there really a such thing as an accident? Are things simply meant to be and we call them accidents because we have no explanation for them?
I am not philosophic, I am not religious or spiritual, but I do believe that things are destined to be. If you speed through that light, if you happen to drop your keys while trying to lock your door, if you miss the elevator, it's all a chain of events.
Sit for a minute and enjoy.. you may accidently find something interesting.
I am not philosophic, I am not religious or spiritual, but I do believe that things are destined to be. If you speed through that light, if you happen to drop your keys while trying to lock your door, if you miss the elevator, it's all a chain of events.
Sit for a minute and enjoy.. you may accidently find something interesting.
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