Monday, September 29, 2008

Less than 6 hours to go

Needless to say that I am up and anxious. We just got finished bowling on the wii and I kicked her butt as usual. Don't look at me like that... she told me not to take it easy on her!!!

Thanks to the meditation, going to church Saturday, and the love and support of family and friends I am actually not toooo bad right now. She seems fine too. I think it's just being loved and knowing that you have so many people there for you makes it a little easier. I meant to ask her to post tonight so we could see how she's really feeling but it was late and I know that she probably wanted some time to herself.

I was laughing the other day as I watched a show and they said the typical "it doesn't take a brain surgeon..." It's funny that brain surgery is part of just everyday conversation as comparisons. "Of course you could do that, it's not brain surgery". Well it is brain surgery and it's not that funny if you think about it. Makes me rethink the many things that I may say in jest that just are more serious than we make it out to be.

Seriously, that's probably why we've been able to minimize this whole thing. You watch movies and see blood, gore and destruction and it's funny or sometimes a little scary. You watch shows like House, ER, Gray's Anatomy and Scrubs and you think, wow, look at that, that's awesome. But you don't realize that half or even 95% or even all of it is based on at least one person's personal story. It doesn't dawn on you that someone somewhere went through this. And the music is dramatic. And the doctors are caring and feeling or cold and callous. But you don't realize or get to know what really happens in the minds of the patients, the families, the surgeons. The real people that without us these shows would have no audience. No show.

I'm not saying this so people will pity us and our situation. But so that the next time you watch a movie and they just yank out someone's intestines, or the next time you tell your kid "it's not brain surgery it's just algebra" that you'll think about the people that actually have to go through these things.

It's like, did you ever buy a car or a phone or even a pair of sneakers, and the next thing you know is you see that phone everywhere you turn. Weird analogy, I know. It's because I'm such a tech freak. But you understand what I mean, right? Ever since we found out about Mommy's tumor and Ms. Venuis' breast cancer (Troy's Mom) that's all we hear about. I mean, I know breast cancer awareness month is here... but sheesh. Is it that now we are more aware of these things because they are hitting close to home? Have we opened our eyes to the world around us, not just thinking that we are the world?

I know I am rambling. My mind is way to hyper too settle down and I know that as soon as I fall asleep it'll be time to take Mommy to the hospital.

And I want to prolong that as long as I can.

5 1/2 hours to go.

I love you, Mommy!

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